Compromise, or Learning How to Love
by theotherbella
Summary: Edward and Bella meet at College. Can they navigate through everything being a freshman entails?
1. The Freshman, Part One

A/N: heyooooooooo

So a super short intro to something brewing around in this angst-y brain of mine. More to come later in the week, I promise, and let me know what you think. Round of applause to Little Miss Whitlock for her epic beta skills. She's the best… go adore her.

As always, everything 'cept the twisted stuff I add in belongs to SMeyer.

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Compromise, or Learning How to Love

Prologue: The Freshman, Part 1

The Freshman by The Verve Pipe

BPOV

Things like us just weren't made to last.

It wasn't that we didn't love each other enough, or that we ran out of things to say to each other.

We were just too explosive, too fiery; we had too much of a spark.

I've never loved anyone the way I loved Edward Cullen, and I knew it was the same for him. We didn't let go, and we certainly didn't move on.

But like I said, there was too much against us.

We weren't equipped to deal with the problems we faced, nor the ramifications of our actions. We never got to that place of blending, where we stopped being a 'you' and a 'me' and started being a 'we.'

More and more, what I wanted and what he wanted, clashed.

I didn't think I'd ever be able to give him up.

I didn't think I'd ever be able to live without him.

I didn't think I'd love anyone else... ever again.

To be honest... I won't love anyone else like that. I know I won't. It was destructive, brutal, passionate and enraging.

It was consuming and uninhibited.

_It_ was everything.

But like I said, we weren't equipped to last.

* * *

Read and Love:

Family Ties by Becklyn: Cause it's fuckawesome, and I'm obsessed. You should be too.

http://www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/5442851/1/Family_Ties

Friendly Discontentment by ManderBetis: It makes me want every Edward to be smart assward.

http://www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/5646697/1/Friendly_Discontentment

Wanna know 'bout some other awesome fics? Follow me on twitter, if you feel so inclined, twitter (dot) com/ theotherbella

Thanks for checking this out for me and please don't forget to review :)


	2. Chapter 1: I Want to Hold Your Hand

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the prologue and to those of you who added this to your alerts and faves. I really wasn't expecting that, given the length, but still Thank You :)

Huge I love you and thank you to LMW for being her amazing self.

Smeyer's still in charge of everything twilight, 'cept the twisted shit I do to her characters.

Leave me some love, though cause I would like to completely own some reviews :)

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Chapter One: I Wanna Hold Your Hand

I Wanna Hold Your Hand by The Beatles

BPOV

The day my life started was the day I decided to go to college. I was away from my well-intentioned, but overprotective, father and completely on my own.

It was invigorating, really, to be on my own and independent, yet scary at the same time. I'd only known that one small town in the wilds of Washington, so a college campus was like setting a toddler free in a candy store.

You couldn't hold me back if you tried.

Campus was campus. There were the requisite oak trees, ivy growing across old brick buildings, shirtless and tanned boys throwing a football over the quad.

It was a fucking brochure.

Sign me up.

My roommate, Alice Brandon, was a Southern girl with a ton of personality and thankfully not someone who I needed be to be giddy for. She had enough giddy for both of us and then some.

I liked that she didn't make me feel awkward. It seemed as though from the moment we settled in together, we were getting along. We clicked or something.

After that came the tough stuff.

My first class was nerve-wracking.

My very first college class.

Nothing major, just Gen-Ed English. I was one of the first students to arrive at the large lecture hall, so I pulled out my latest novel (_The Time Traveler's Wife_) and waited.

When I read, I was sucked into the world of the characters. It didn't matter where I was or what was going on around me; nothing would pull me from whatever imaginary world the author had created. I didn't even notice a boy talking to me until he tapped the top of my head.

"Excuse me? Is anyone sitting here?"

I looked up at my assailant, and blinked. He was tall; over six feet for sure, plus a few extra inches for his... oddly colored hair. It was kind of blonde, I guess, but shinier and pushed off his forehead before veering off in every direction possible. His gleaming Kelly-green eyes were bright, and he was smiling a hesitant, crooked smile down at me.

I looked back from him to the vacant seat next to me, and then back up. "No, all yours."

He seemed to relax a little as he sank down beside me. "Hey."

I nodded awkwardly, and tried to smile a little. "Hi."

There was a pause, so I assumed that was the end of it and turned back to my book. He was adjusting beside me when I heard him speak again. "I'm Edward Cullen."

"Bella Swan," I said, not bothering to look up.

He paused. "Whatcha reading?"

I sighed, marking my page and turned to show him the cover. "_The Time Traveler's Wife."_

He cocked his head to the side to look at the cover, and reached out with one long, pale finger to trace the little girl's saddle shoes. "What's it about?"

I blinked at him a few times before I found my voice. "This girl, Clare, falls in love with Henry, a time traveler. He keeps going back and forth, in and out of her life, and obviously they fall in love."

He raised a bushy eyebrow at me and smirked. "Obviously?"

I tapped the cover, beside the title. "Wife, Edward."

He grinned. "Right, Bella." He straightened himself back up, and I went to turn back to my book. But instead, he spoke. "Are you nervous?"

I looked at him blankly. "For?"

He waved his hand vaguely in front of us. "This whole... college thing?"

I closed my book, and popped it back in my back pack. "No, not really."

"Why not?"

"Why would I be?"

"Because it's college."

"And, how's college any different from high school?"

"Bigger work load?"

"I took AP classes."

"Away from home?"

"Everyone leaves the nest; it has to happen."

"Lonely?"

I hesitated, watching his eyes as they searched mine. He was looking for something in me; he was looking for a friend. It suddenly occurred to me that Edward was nervous.

So instead of a smartass reply, I heard myself say. "Who isn't?"

He smiled softly at me, and I swore I saw him exhale. "Valid points."

I nodded. "I thought so."

"You're a smart cookie."

"So are you."

He cocked his head to the side. "How do you figure? You were the one who was right."

I grinned. "You sat next to me, didn't you?"

He laughed quietly. "I did. And once again, you're right Bella. I suppose I must be smart."

I opened my mouth to ask him something else when our professor stumbled in to begin our first lecture. He really lectured. I assumed that the teacher just handed out the syllabus then dismissed. I wasn't actually prepared to absorb knowledge today.

Apparently Edward wasn't either.

After a little while, I noticed him adjusting and fidgeting beside me. His notebook was propped open... but he didn't have a writing implement.

Men.

Typical.

I reached down into my backpack, pausing at a mechanical pencil (my weapon of choice) but then decided to hand him a pen. Guys seemed to prefer them.

I sat back, and, not taking my eyes off the front of the room, placed the pen on his open notebook. Before I knew what was happening, my clumsy wrist was bumping against his fingers, and I felt this weird... fission run through my body.

It was like living life with blinders until that moment; until the second he touched me. I snapped my head to the side to look at Edward, only to find him staring back at me with a matching awed expression.

I just looked at him for a second, wondering if it had _felt_ the same way to him as it did to me. Touches were like foods almost; just because one person liked red grapes didn't mean that the person next to them did. To me, that touch; that infinitesimal brush of his fingers against mine, was electrifying and brilliant. To him, it could have been assault.

My fears were assuaged, though, when a lazy smile spread across his perfect lips and his eyes glowed with intensity. His eyes seemed to always give him away.

It was hard to concentrate after that because I was hyper aware of Edward beside me. Everything about him was drawing me in; from his scent, to the way he'd lean his chin against his hand as he listened to the professor, and even the way he'd nervously push his hair from his forehead.

Every time I looked over at him, though, his eyes were trained straight ahead. Not once did he seem to catch my eye or seem as flustered as I was.

Men.

Seriously.

As class ended with the typical shuffling of papers and bodies, I noticed that Edward was stalling beside me. He put my pen behind his ear, before very carefully (and unnecessarily) folding over the cover of his notebook and smoothing it back.

Then he turned to me, his eyes bright. "Thanks for the pen," he grinned. "I can't believe what an idiot I was."

I smiled back at him sheepishly and my eyes drifted up to my pen. His hair was curling ever so slightly over it, and I found myself wondering what it would be like to push my fingers into it. It looked soft...it was probably soft.

Guhhhhhh.

I was still staring at his hair when I noticed his eyebrow arch out of the corner of my eye. "Bella? You okay?"

_Oh, right. I'm supposed to say shit._

I shook my head, laughing weakly and smiling. "Yeah, I'm good. I just lost my train of thought."

"I thought I was supposed to be the scatter brain."

I snorted and my hand reached up for my pen. It was like watching someone else altogether. I do not do shit like this. Trust me, I am not this bold. My fingers brushed through his hair a little as I plucked my pen from behind his ear.

It was the briefest contact; probably shorter than before, but infinitely more meaningful. I literally felt my heart slow down. Everything around us was blurred and incomprehensible, but it didn't matter because Edward was staring right back at me.

His breathing was short and ragged, and we were so close together that I could feel it fanning over my face. His eyes darted down to my lips and I watched, enraptured, as he licked his own.

I wanted to suck on his tongue.

Really, really badly.

"Did you need this today?" I whispered, my voice sounding a lot huskier than I intended.

"If you don't mind," he replied; his eyes never left my mouth, and he didn't pull away.

He felt it, too.

Right then, I knew that he felt it, too.

Whatever was happening to us and between us wasn't one sided and sure as hell wasn't random.

This was bigger than random.

"I don't."

My eyes slid down to his lips, which were still parted, before returning to the relative safety of his eyes. His followed suit and he blinked. I sucked in a deep breath before pulling back a bit, enough to break myself from whatever hold he'd put on me.

I found myself panting as I stared back at him. It was such an odd sensation to feel so... _connected_ to someone without even knowing _them_, really.

All I knew about Edward Cullen was his name, he was a freshman, his eyes were green, and he looked down right edible in his hug-me-in-all-the-right-places navy tee shirt. There wasn't any reason for me to feel this attached or to want him this badly.

Yet, I did.

I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

Edward sucked in a breath, and the same crooked smile fell across his lips. It was quickly becoming my favorite. "Are you hungry? You wanna get lunch?" he asked.

I sighed, disappointed. "I can't. I have another class after this."

The more and more I remembered why I was here (at college) in the first place and what I was supposed to be doing, the less Edward's presence effected me.

His brow furrowed and his lips pulled into a tight pucker. "Oh...well...maybe...maybe later, then?"

I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, and thought about what he was asking. He wanted to spend time with me. He wanted to be around me. He...he wanted to be my friend.

I could use a friend, right? This couldn't be a bad thing. Who didn't want more friends?

Edward noticed my hesitation, and I saw his shoulders hunch over and slump. He didn't move, though; not even one inch.

"Sure," I replied before I could talk myself out of it.

A wide smile lit up his face, "Yeah? Yeah. Okay." He began nodding vigorously, and relaxed as he sat back a little more. "Let me give you my number, that way you can call when you're finished with class."

His hand reached out for mine, and I shuddered when his fingers curled under my own. It was the same. I almost couldn't believe that _it _was still as strong. My pen was pulled from behind his ear, and in the most delicate script, Edward Cullen's cell phone number was etched into my skin.

"I don't have class again today; this was my only one. Just call when you're finished, and I'll meet you."

I nodded, looking down at my hand which was still curled with his. "Okay. You sure you don't have other plans?"

He gave my hand a small squeeze. "None." I heard him suck in another deep breath, so I looked up at him. "I'm really glad I met you, Bella."

I melted.

"Me too, Edward."

I think I could have sat there forever. At that moment, I didn't care about my next class, my four-year plan, my scholarships, or even the fact that I'd probably touched gum on the underside of the arm rest by accident.

It was just Edward and I; a boy and a girl, holding hands in a classroom.

***

The next few hours crawled by. I couldn't pay attention to anything except Edward's phone number on the back of my hand.

I was anxious, because honestly, I didn't know what this meant. I didn't understand why he wanted to spend time with me or even why he gave me his number. We could have just met at a pre-arranged time and gone from there.

He gave me his number because he wanted me to have it.

Wow.

As I walked out of my last class, I moved slowly toward the dining hall. I pulled out my phone and ran my fingers over the keys, thinking. If he didn't pick up, then he changed his mind. That was okay. No big deal. Not every person is supposed to be your friend. It's okay if he didn't want to be my friend.

I sucked in a deep breath and punched the keys, then hit send.

Of course he picked up on the first ring.

"Bella?" he asked, his voice sounding anxious.

"Yeah, it's me." I replied. "How was your afternoon?"

"Okay, I guess. Are you finished?"

I nodded, shoving my hand in my pocket. "I am. Do you still want to get lunch?"

"Of course," he answered hastily, and I could hear him shuffling. "Where are you?"

I looked around me. "I'm walking past Miller."

"Stay there, I'm on the first floor. See you in a second."

"Okay, bye," I replied, hanging up the call and staring at the door to the building.

He might not come out. He could hide in his room. He could...come out, looking like sex on legs.

I bit my lip, sucking in a deep breath as Edward made his way over to me. He grinned broadly at me, running a nervous hand through his hair.

"Hi," he called, coming up beside me and gesturing for us to continue.

"Hey." I was trying to sound casual, but I probably sounded like I'd inhaled an entire balloon full of helium. He was unhinging me and he didn't even know it.

Edward grinned and we walked side by side toward the dining hall behind a pack of skinny blonde girls. That was really what I needed right at that moment.

"Learn anything interesting?" he asked, nudging me carefully with his elbow to get my attention. As if it would ever deviate.

"Uh, no. Just how to follow a syllabus. They can be tricky, you know."

He laughed a little and held open the door for me. "Excellent life skill, Ms. Swan."

Everything about him was drawing me in and making every nerve in my body stand at attention. I smiled warmly back at him as we picked up trays.

"What looks good?" I started, looking around the small, U-shaped room and the kids filing through lines.

"Sandwich, maybe?" Edward suggested, pointing over to the huge roast beef sandwiches that the chef was handing out.

I sucked on my lip. "I'll split one with you."

Edward grinned down at me, leaning in a little. "Don't worry, Swan, I'll take care of you. Go put your bag down, and I'll be right out."

I hesitated, but he pushed me toward the dining area. "I'll be right there."

I walked over to an empty table and put down my stuff as I sat down.

Okay, I felt like a loser. I was sitting alone, at a table in the dining hall and as far as everyone in this room knew, I did this on a regular basis.

Great.

Fabulous.

"Bella?" I heard Edward call. My head snapped up at my eyes went wide. He was coming over to me, his brow furrowed and carrying a tray full of food. "Diet Coke, regular, iced tea or water?"

My eyes grew wider (if that were even possible) and I just looked at him.

A lazy, crooked smile drew across his lips. "What?"

I blinked a couple of times at him, and I couldn't help but smile at him, too. Although this might have been embarrassing to me just a few short months ago, when my peers would have tormented me relentlessly for having my name shouted across a crowded cafeteria, I couldn't be. Instead I found myself thrilled at the thought of it happening again.

My name from Edward's lips was probably the sweetest two syllables known to man.

"Nothing," I finally replied. "Can I have water?"

"Sure, I'll be right back." And he was off.

I looked down at the tray he brought, which had a little of everything. Literally. Fruit, vegetables, a sandwich, a piece of lasagna, macaroni and cheese, salad, a hunk of bread, and what I think was some kind of gumbo.

I shook my head, laughing as he sat down again. "Are you really that hungry?"

He laughed half heartedly down at the food, and handed me a plate. "No. I just didn't know what you felt like, so I figured I'd get it all. Have something."

I looked at the food, and cut the sandwich in half. "So...how was day one?" I asked, grabbing some of the fruit as well.

"It was okay," he said, taking the other half and looking up at me. "Anticlimactic, I think."

"That's too bad."

"Not all bad," he replied, looking up at me through impossibly long lashes.

Boys weren't even supposed to have eye lashes that long.

I smiled back at him like a dope. "Not for me, either."

Did that make sense? I really hoped that made sense.

He chuckled a little to him self, taking a bite of the sandwich. "Where're you from?"

"Washington. A town you've never heard of, I'm sure."

"Try me."

"Forks."

He cocked his head to the side. "Like the utensil?"

"Just like."

"Wow. Is there a...Spoon, too?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Maybe somewhere. What about you?"

"Chicago."

"That's cool," I replied, stabbing a hunk of cantaloupe and popping it into my mouth.

"Boyfriend?" he asked suddenly, making me choke on my fruit.

"Are you serious?"

"Very," he said evenly.

He was.

"No, of course not."

"Of course not? You say that like it's a completely insane assertion."

I thought about this for a second. It wasn't. I mean, I could be like any other girl who'd recently graduated from high school, having been drunk and kissed at least once. As far as Edward knew, I was that girl.

"I've never had a boyfriend."

"Ever?" he asked incredulously.

I shook my head, feeling my cheeks start to burn.

He let out a low whistle, and I let my eyes drift back up to his.

"I never knew cloud cover caused blindness."

I cocked my head to the side, confused. "What do you mean?"

He raised an eyebrow, and took another bite. "Have you seen you?"

"Daily, in fact."

"Then, you should see what I mean."

Okay...now, I might have been reading too much into it, but I was thinking that Edward just told me he thought I was...semi-attractive.

I grinned. "What about you? Girlfriend in tow?"

"Nope, not since junior year."

Oh. "So you're like the lone wolf...on the prowl."

He laughed, shaking his head at me. "I don't think I need to be, but thanks, Bella."

I raised an eyebrow. "You laughing at me, Cullen?"

He nodded, "Yeah. Definitely."

"Not nice."

"You say silly stuff, though."

"Fine, I take it back."

He laughed harder. "You can't take it back, you said it."

I pushed my plate aside and leaned over the table toward him. "Sure you can; if you don't really mean something, you can take it back."

He mimicked my posture and grinned. "So that's how you and I can be? We can have take-backs on things?"

I nodded. "Sure thing, home fry."

He laughed a little, and I swear I saw his cheeks pinken a bit. "How's the roommate?"

"Good. We're getting along so far. You?"

"He's alright, but we'll see. I haven't quite decided yet."

"Name?"

"Mike Newton? He's from...Omaha or something. You?"

"Alice Brandon. Charleston."

"Nice."

"Yeah, she's pretty sweet." I leaned back from the table, stabbing another piece of fruit and twirled it around a little. "Did you come alone?"

He nodded.

I grinned. "Me too."

He sighed, the same lopsided smile crossing his features. "Seems like we're not so alone anymore."

I chewed my piece of watermelon carefully and grinned back at him. "No, we're not."

"Good."

"Excellent."

"Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For calling, I mean."

I laughed a little putting our half-eaten food back onto the tray, then pushed it all aside. "I told you I would."

He sighed and I watched his fingers push his hair from his forehead. "I know, but you could have changed your mind."

"I like you, Edward." I hesitated for a minute before reaching out to tap the back of his hand reassuringly. "No take-backs," I whispered, feeling the familiar shock jolt up my arm and making me shiver.

He grinned back at me. "I like you, too."

Within that first day, I knew I'd found something special; something different in Edward. I didn't know what it was, or what we'd become to each other, just that it was stronger and more powerful than either one of us.

And there wouldn't be any take-backs.


	3. Chapter 2: Stolen

A/N: So thanks ever so much to everyone who reviewed and added this for the last chapter. It's spectacular of you and I really love that you love it :)

Many heartfelt thanks to Mels, Becks, Kels, and Amanda, who listen to me whine during the week which (in my book) makes them made of golden win.

I don't own; All SMeyer.

Leave me some reviews, if you feel so inclined :)

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Chapter 2: Stolen

Stolen by Dashboard Confessional

BPOV

After lunch with Edward, it felt like I was walking on a cloud. He had seeped into my every thought and daydream, making it so there was hardly any room for the knowledge I was supposedly "soaking up." Every Wednesday, the day we had class together, we agreed to meet up for lunch.

I wanted to ask if it was too soon to meet for dinner, too, but I stopped myself. It wasn't because I thought he didn't like me or I thought I was scaring him away. I was really afraid of the way I felt about him.

Every touch solidified whatever it was that we had, and I was beginning to wonder just how far he and I would progress. Or if he wanted it like I did.

By the following Friday, my and Edward's routine was solidified and comfortable. I found myself wondering how I'd ever gotten away without him before.

It was weird to think that there was a time before Edward Cullen.

As usual, he'd put me in a daze, thinking about the way the green in the chairs caught the color in his eyes, making them look deeper and almost like they had navy flecks in them. Or the way his fingers would twitch toward mine when I went to grab our shared lunch tray and return it.

Everything about Edward lit me on fire.

My Edward coma was the reason I was daydreaming when I got back to my room. I'm going with that as my reason for getting clocked with the stress ball.

"Oh, fuck! Why was your face there? You okay?"

I blinked rapidly and rubbed my head as Jasper came into focus in front of me. "Bella? You okay?"

Jasper was Alice's boyfriend of two days. He was a really great guy; funny, sweet, and able to tame Alice down like nothing I'd seen before. Although she was still her bubbly precocious self, it was like he was able to rein her in when needed. To be honest, it was nice at 2:30 in the morning when all I wanted to do was sleep, and she wanted to jazzercise.

I laughed, brushing it off and throwing my bag on my bed. "Yeah, I'm okay. What's up guys?"

I plopped down at my desk and opened my laptop while Alice held up practically identical black tops in front of her. "We're going out tonight."

"Have fun."

I heard hangers hit the floor, and Alice's foot stomp. "You have to come."

I looked up at her. "No, I don't."

"Alice, she doesn't have to."

Alice seethed. "She didn't go out last weekend, either."

I shrugged. "I'd just rather not."

"But it's vital!" she pouted.

"How so?"

"To expand your social horizons."

"I don't want my social horizons expanded." Honestly, it just sounded painful.

Alice stomped again, but Jasper stepped in as he lifted his lithe body onto her bed. "Alice, if she doesn't want to go, you can't make her. When Bella wants to come out, we'll be more than happy to have her." His gray eyes, which should have been cold and distant, were nothing but kind and understanding. He smiled reassuringly before he added, "You're always welcome, Bella."

I smiled back at him and Alice sighed, leaning against her dresser. "Of course you are. I just don't want you to get stuck in this room all the time. I worry about you."

"I know, but I'm fine. Promise. I like being alone sometimes."

Alice cocked her head to the side, watching me carefully. "You sure? I could stay in tonight."

"Alice...seriously?" I asked incredulously. "I'm fine, go out and have fun."

She laughed a little and turned back to her wardrobe, which was bursting with clothes. "Well then, help me pick something so you can do your super-secret-Bella-stuff."

I didn't do any super-secret-Bella-stuff. In fact, I did the same things I did when she wasn't around. The only difference was I could listen to or watch whatever I wanted.

"Thanks, Alice," I replied, rolling my eyes to where Jasper was tossing the stress ball against the ceiling.

"Yeah, Bella's in the CIA. She's covert with her nightly activities."

Alice's eyes grew wide at Jasper's insinuation. "Bella...do you have something to share?"

Jasper's eyes darted between us, and the stress ball stopped moving. "I was kidding, Al."

"Do you have..." Alice gulped, her expression never changing, and moved closer to me slowly. "A secret lover?"

I burst out laughing.

I mean, c'mon.

_A Secret Lover?_

What was this? _Days of Our Lives? _Yes, Alice, I do. And it's your brother. But I'm having a baby with your dad, but only to get back at your mom, who I'm really in love with.

Oh, goodness.

"No...no, definitely not."

She blinked at me, pulling away from me a little as a small smile graced her lips. "I don't believe you."

I puffed out another laugh, and closed my laptop. "Why not?" I wasn't a shady person. I wasn't evasive with her, and I always gave straight answers. She really had no reason to not believe me.

"Because...because I can just tell. Ever since that first day of class you've been all dreamy. There's a guy; there has to be."

Oh.

Edward was the one thing I'd kept from Alice. It wasn't that I meant to, or that I even wanted to, I just didn't know how to broach the subject with her. I'd never really had anyone to talk to about this stuff, other than my mom, and that's a totally different thing.

I mean, there's only so much you can tell your mom about the guy you want to dry-hump in the middle of freshman English. Somehow I didn't think it'd go over very well.

"There's...there's no guy, Alice."

"You stuttered."

"I always stutter."

"You _never_ stutter."

"Alice..."

"Bella..."

I sighed, seeing that I probably wasn't going to win. "There might be...one guy."

Alice's head whipped to the side. "Jas, do you know him?"

He blinked at her, and I furrowed my brow. "You don't even know his name," he reminded her.

Alice shook her head as though this was an insignificant detail. "Jasper."

He blinked again. "Bella, what's his name? And you don't have to tell if you don't want to."

Alice pursed her lips at him which gave me the chance to get out of telling her. "I...it's nothing right now, so don't worry about it."

"How will we know if he's good enough for you?" Alice demanded, putting her hands on her hips and pouting at me.

I shook my head, thoroughly confused. "Don't you think you're getting just a little bit ahead of yourself? I mean, I don't even think he likes me like _that_."

"You've spoken to him?"

"Yes."

"A lot?"

"A few times."

She nodded and seemed pacified. "I'm letting you off the hook this time because I feel like this is important to you. But I want you to know...I have a good feeling about this one."

Alice gave me a sly smile and slipped her heels on. "And I can't wait to hear about how good it, in fact, was."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Alice, you can't know that something's gonna happen. It probably won't amount to anything, anyway," I admitted nervously. It wasn't until then I realized how badly I'd wanted something to happen between me and Edward.

I knew it was a long shot, mostly because he was funny and smart and kind and had basically every girl I'd seen walk past us swooning over him. Yet I couldn't help but want it. Every time we walked side by side, I wanted to know what it'd feel like to slip my hand into his and feel his fingers twist up with mine. I wanted to know what it'd feel like to sit next to him on my bed and study. I wanted my fingers in his hair at all times because really, that shit was amazing.

I wondered what it'd be like to have him tell me he missed me, or that he wanted me to come by because he couldn't stand another second without me. When I thought about it, the idea that he could feel that way made butterflies erupt in my stomach.

I was falling hard for Edward Cullen.

"If anything happens, I'll be sure to let you know," I told her as I pulled my hair up and moved to sit beside Jasper. He nudged me with his shoulder, offering a reassuring smile.

I knew everything would end up okay. Alice meant well and I knew that she just wanted me to open up to her. I appreciated it, but it was too much too soon. I'd get there, I knew. I just needed a little more time.

The three of us split a pizza for dinner so that we wouldn't have to trek all the way to the dining hall, and they left me to my own devices by 10.

I let out a deep breath, surveying my room without Alice in it. It definitely felt emptier. I decided to shower, first and foremost, because I could take my time with the lotion and the getting dressed process without my roommate around.

I took my time in the shower. Since most of the girls on my floor were out for the night, there wasn't any rush and I didn't feel like I was holding anyone up. I kind of liked the solitude of it, going through the motions of a routine, but at my own unencumbered pace. It was like a little bit of my old reality; something I'd been missing without even realizing it.

When I got back into my room, I waited until 9 to call my dad, Charlie. If I called earlier than that, he'd have to pay for the minutes and I didn't want to waste them for him. He picked up immediately, almost like he was waiting beside the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dad."

Charlie let out a relieved sigh and I could picture him sinking back into his recliner. "Bells, sweetheart, it's good to hear your voice. How're you doing?"

"I'm okay," I replied, picking at a loose thread in my pillow case and looking at the picture of him and I that I'd taped to the wall beside my bed. "I'm a little lonely."

"Why? How come you didn't go out with...Alison…tonight?"

I laughed a little. "Alice, Dad, and I just didn't feel like it."

"She seemed nice," he commented, more to himself, I think, than me. "I liked her a lot."

"Yeah, she's been really cool. Everything's been going well so far."

"Good to hear. Classes, homework... You're keeping on top of it, I hope?"

I rolled my eyes. You'd think after practically 18 years, he'd know me better. "Of course, Dad."

"Good. That's my girl."

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me, and started doodling on the dry erase board I had next to my bed.

"Hey, Dad, I'm gonna go. I think I'm gonna watch a movie or something."

"Uh...yeah, okay...I'll....call soon, okay Bells?"

"I will. Night, Dad. Love you."

"Love you, too." And he was gone.

My dad wasn't very affectionate and I knew that this whole college thing was rough on him. He was really protective, and I think he was nervous about what would happen to me once he wasn't around. He'd never come out and say it, but I tried to do my best to keep him from worrying.

My very productive (and thrilling) Friday night included me falling asleep in front of the TV while I watched _Millionaire Matchmaker_ on Bravo. I was jolted awake when someone began pounding on the door.

"BELLLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! BEEEEELLLLLLLAAAAAAA!!!!! OPEN THE DOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!"

I curled myself into the corner of my bed, smashed against the wall. I didn't recognize the voice, and then I looked over at the clock. 2:15.

Who the hell was pounding on my door at two in the morning?

"BELLLLLLLAAAAAAAA!!!!" The voice kept going. "BABY, OPEN THE DOORRRRRRR!!!!'

He started pounding against the door again, and I swear I saw it bow a little under his weight.

"BABY, LET ME IN!!!! DON'T MAKE ME CALL...AL--ALICE!!!"

He kept pounding relentlessly against the door, and I almost shit my pants I was so scared. I reached for my phone, and went to dial campus security when I heard a huge slam.

"FUCKING BITCH!" he wailed, and I heard heavy footsteps retreating down the hallway.

My breath was coming in heavy bursts as I clutched the phone to my chest, staring wide-eyed at the door.

What the hell..._what the hell was that?_

I was so scared, I was shaking. Hard. I didn't know what to do.

My mind was foggy as I flipped through my contacts, going straight for the one person I knew would calm me down.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was thick with sleep, and it might have been wishful thinking but, it almost sounded like...like he was smiling.

"E-Edward? A-are you b-busy?" I asked, pulling my knees up to my chest and trying to calm my shaky voice.

"No. Bella, what's wrong? Are you okay? Where are you?" His questions were coming rapid fire, and I could hear him shuffling around.

"I...I...there was someone...at my door...and..."

"What happened? Are they still there? Are you alone?" I could hear him rummaging around, then a thump. "Fuck. Bella?"

"Are you okay?" I asked, suddenly worried he'd hurt himself.

He let out a semi-amused chuckle. "You're calling me on the verge of tears because some asshole's banging down your door, and you're asking if I'm okay?"

I blinked. "Yeah."

"I'm fine, Bella. I'm on my way. You're on the third floor, right?"

"Yeah. Edward...you don't have to come, I just...I needed--"

"Bella, I'm coming. If they come back, someone's gotta kick their ass, right? I just have to put on a shirt and I'll be right over. I'll see you in a sec."

I snapped my phone shut in a completely new daze. Shirtless Edward. This had possibilities that my mind hadn't previously entertained.

Edward.

Shirtless.

As in, not wearing any clothes north of the border.

Oh.

_I should open the window before he gets here..._

I hesitantly put one foot over the edge of the bed, feeling the old wood floors creek under my feet. I padded slowly to the window, opening it a little before I turned back to the door.

This would be the first time I'd have a boy in my room, ever, in my life. But it wasn't just any boy...it was Edward.

Edward, the boy who I liked more than would probably be okay with him.

And what would I do with him once he got here?

I mean, I could think of a few things, but I didn't think he'd be too into them.

A soft knock at the door shook me from my thoughts, and I backed up against the window, the cool marble sill digging into my back.

"Bella? It's Edward," he called, just as softly.

I rushed to the door, threw it open and pulled Edward in by his shirt before slamming the door again and locking it.

I looked up at Edward, panting from the sudden exertion. "Thank you."

His deep green eyes searched mine for a second before I was suddenly wrapped in a strong pair of arms. It took me a second to realize that those arms belonged to Edward.

Edward was holding _me._

"Are you okay?" he whispered, and I could feel his cheek on top of my head.

My arms wrapped carefully around his waist, and I nodded. "Yeah...yeah, I was just scared."

"I'm here, Bella. It's gonna be okay. I'll stay with you, okay?" he murmured, taking a few steps forward and walking us toward the bed.

"Okay. Thank you...for coming," I whispered.

Edward pulled away a little, and then hoisted me up to sit on the edge of my bed while he stood in front of me, still barely a breath away.

"What happened?" he asked softly, planting his hands on either side of me on the bed.

"I was asleep, and someone was just...banging on the door, and calling my name..." I shook my head, looking away from him. "I got scared. I'm sorry I bothered you."

His fingers came up and curled under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "You are never a bother. You can always call me, okay?"

I smiled a little, feeling the sincerity of his words. "Were you sleeping?"

He grinned a little, dropping his hand, and hopping up next to me on my bed. "Yeah. I was passed out. Honestly, I'm surprised I heard the phone," he said with a chuckle.

It was so surreal to have Edward on my bed, talking to me like it was no big deal. But, then again, I supposed it wasn't. He was my friend every other day, and we did the same stuff, just not on my bed, in the middle of the night.

Minor detail.

"You didn't go out tonight?"

Edward shook his head. "Nah, Mike went out and I'd rather spend my time away from him." He gave me a sad smile. "Campus is small, you know?"

We hadn't talked about his roommate since our first lunch, so I was intrigued. "You aren't getting along."

His jaw clenched and his eyes shifted from mine. "No, not at all."

"How come?"

Edward hesitated a little, then looked back up at me. "We disagreed about something."

"Something?"

He nodded.

"Care to share?"

Edward pursed his lips, and thought about it. "There's...uh, well, there's this girl."

My heart dropped to my stomach and then some. Of course there was a girl. Of course there was.

"And Mike...he's been less than a gentleman about her. Especially around me."

I knew Mike from my bio lab. He was always making rude comments about someone's ass. He was just disgusting. I was glad to be rid of him after this, but poor Edward was stuck with him until May.

"He doesn't know...about her...and how I feel," he stuttered, looking across the room at Alice's bed. "So it's even harder."

He liked her. He liked her like I liked him, and Mike wanted to...I dunno...dry-hump her or something. It broke my heart, though, to think of Edward with someone else. I wanted him...I wanted him with me.

But I could be a good friend. I _would_ be a good friend to him. I definitely could do this. I reached out hesitantly and put my hand on his forearm. A jolt of electricity shot up my arm and I shuddered a little. "Why don't you talk to her about it? I'm sure she feels the same way about you."

Who wouldn't feel that way about Edward? Really? Who wouldn't?

He smiled sadly at me and shrugged. "She's not interested. She wouldn't..." he shook his head vigorously, as if removing the image of the two of them from his head. "She wouldn't want me...like that."

"Are you sure? You've asked her?"

I don't know why I was pushing this whole Edward with another girl thing. I guess I just wanted him to be happy, even if that meant sacrificing my own happiness. I could stand by him while this happened.

At least, I thought I could.

"No..." he replied, shooting me a wary glance. "We talk...a lot, and she's never even..." he sucked a deep breath, and then smiled sadly again, "I know she doesn't feel that way about me."

"Then she's insane," I blurted, then immediately turned a bright red.

Edward laughed a little, and seemed to relax a bit. "You think?"

I sucked in a mortified breath and nodded. "Yeah. Definitely. You're the best, Edward," I smiled at him. "No take-backs."

He gave me one of his epic crooked smiles and I turned to mush inside my skin. "You are too, Bella," he nodded a little, "No take-backs."

I'd take the best. The best was good.

Edward sighed a little, and stretched. "Can we sleep a little?"

His question caught me off guard. "Oh...yeah…sure."

"I'll sleep on the floor if you want," he said, slipping off the bed and standing beside me.

"Are you sure? I don't think Alice is coming back, if you want?" I wanted him in my bed. With me. Get back here, you silly bronze-haired boy.

"No, floor's fine. That way if someone tries to break in again, I can go for the ankles," he joked.

I rolled my eyes at him, and scooted under the covers. "Okay, Edward. Thank you... again."

He smiled over at me and walked to the door where he flipped off the light. "No problem, Bella. I'm here when you need me."

I watched him move in the dark and I was entranced. He moved so quietly on the squeaky floors and his pale skin glowed in the moonlight. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth as I watch him move around my room. It was like he belonged there...like he belonged with me.

Fuck if I didn't want him there.

He grabbed the extra blanket from the bottom of my bed and I handed him my extra pillow. "Goodnight, Edward."

"Night, Bella," he whispered, getting down onto the floor and arranging himself there. "Sweet dreams."

I flopped back on my bed and sighed. He needed to stop doing this to me. I wanted him to want me, and there he goes being all sweet when he wanted someone else.

Ugh.

This sucked.

I felt myself slipping into sleep, thinking about Edward and whoever _she_ was. I could see her so clearly in my mind's eye. She was tall, skinny and blonde. She was smart, funny, compassionate, and everything that Edward deserved in a woman. I could see them on campus, holding hands and sitting under the old oak trees, laughing with each other.

The pain that coursed through me, just from those simple touches and glances, was overpowering. Even though I hadn't a claim to Edward, it still killed me to think that he was having these experiences with someone else.

Suddenly though, I felt two arms circle my body, holding me tightly. "Bella...Bella...it's okay...you're okay...I'm here...shhh....you're okay."

Edward.

I whimpered a little, my eyes blinking open as I realized that I'd been dreaming. Edward was here with me. It didn't change anything about our relationship, but at least what I'd dreamt of wasn't real.

"Edward...I'm sorry," I choked, trying to get my breathing under control as he pulled me closer to his chest.

"Don't apologize," he murmured. "Are you okay?"

I adjusted against him and realized he wasn't wearing his jeans anymore. Just his boxers.

Guh.

"Yeah...bad dream. I'm okay."

"You...you were calling me," he whispered.

I froze. "I was?"

"Yeah. You were panting and asking me why. Do you remember what it was?"

"No," I told him honestly. "But I'm okay now."

His hands slid slowly up and down my back and I could hear his heart thumping steadily in his chest. It was like my own personal sound machine. I threw my comforter over him, and closed my eyes again.

It was his turn to freeze. "Bella?"

"Stay with me?" I asked. I was tired of pretending that I didn't want him there and that I wasn't craving his skin on mine every chance I got.

He sighed heavily into my hair and pulled me closer. "Okay."

After that, I slept soundly in Edward's arms. I was completely at peace with and around him.

I realized then that this was where I was meant to be and what I was meant to be doing.

Nothing could happen to me as long as I was in Edward's arms.

* * *

Read and Love:

I Hate You With An Insurmountable Passion by Cblotnicky: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5445513/1/I_Hate_You_with_an_Insurmountable_Passion

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	4. Chapter 3: You and I Both

A/N: thank you thank you thank you for all of your reviews/adds, etc. It really means a lot, since I'm kinda digging this fic a bunch.

Thank you to the Mello and the girls

still owns all the twi-ness. Not I :(

Leave some love?

* * *

Chapter 3: You and I Both

You and I Both by Jason Mraz

BPOV

Warm.

I sucked in a deep breath that Saturday morning and all I felt was warm. From my hands, one of which was stuck in Edward's hair, to my legs, which were neatly tangled with his, I just felt warm.

There are really no words to describe the sublime feeling that was waking up wrapped around Edward Cullen.

The warm fuzzy feeling, though, was quickly swept away by a soft, much higher and distinctly feminine voice calling my name.

"Bellaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!" Alice whisper-yelled.

My eyes snapped open in shock. "What, Alice?" I hissed, as though it were completely normal for me to have a guy in my bed. As far as Alice knew, he was a completely random guy, too.

"What the hell are you doing in bed?!" she demanded, forgetting that I had (sleeping) company, stomping her foot on the ground.

Edward jolted up at the shrill sound of her voice, ripping my arms from around his body. "Bella?!" he demanded, looking around for me. He moved too quickly, though, and before I really knew what was happening he fell off my bed, landing with a thud.

"Oh, God, are you okay?!" I asked, leaning over the side of the bed as Edward clutched the side of his head in his hand with his eyes clamped shut.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, ASSHOLE????" Alice shrieked, stomping her foot around and coming in contact with various parts of Edward. Did I mention how nice he looked in just his boxers?

"Edward! Edward!" he yelled, squirming to get away from Alice.

"Alice, stop!" I yelled, kinda falling out of bed myself in my attempt to shield Edward from her. "Alice, enough!"

"Fucking shit," I heard Edward swear behind me, shrinking even farther away.

Alice was staring down at the pair of us in the small room, her small face red and her nostrils flared. "Who...the fuck..are you?" she seethed.

I blinked up at her, suddenly very afraid. "Alice, this is Edward. My friend."

The word friend snapped her out of it. "Oh, God, friend?"

I nodded, feeling Edward stand up behind me and get back on my bed.

"I am so sorry," she whispered, her eyes wide as she moved toward him.

I didn't take my eyes off of her when I heard Edward's voice behind me. "It's fine. Can I get my clothes so I can leave now?"

My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach.

I don't know. I was an idiot, obviously, because I thought that maybe last night, maybe him holding me and taking care of me, meant that we could have something, and that maybe in the future he and I could be something. But I guess not. All he wanted to do was leave.

Alice slumped a little but her eyes shifted back to me. "I was just coming to tell you that Jasper and I are going to brunch. We'll meet you down there?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice just yet. Alice seemed to understand and slipped back out the door, mouthing yet another sorry. I sighed when it clicked shut, then helped myself off the floor and began picking up Edward's clothes.

"I'm sorry about Alice," I mumbled. "But thank you again for coming."

"Don't mention it," he said, a hint of something indiscernible in his voice. He pulled his shirt over his head, not looking at me once.

It all felt so hopeless. Everything had changed in five minutes, and I didn't even know why. Sure, Alice was a little crazy, but it could have been worse. She could have maced him.

I didn't tell him that, though, as he pulled on his pants and left without another word. Not even a goodbye or a see you soon. I felt so lost and hopeless. I knew that I should have gone after him or something and stood up for my feminine whatchamacallit, but whatever. Sometimes you're just hurt. No amount of moxie or whatever can make you stop hurting. All I wanted after Edward left that morning was to wallow in the hurt.

Edward had been filling a void in me that I didn't even know I had. He was making me be different, and want different things. But maybe…hm. Maybe his leaving was a sign that I just wasn't meant to change. Maybe this _was_ Bella, for better or worse.

I sucked in a deep breath and decided to go down to breakfast because Edward or no Edward, I had to eat. My walk was slow and boring because I took my time walking through campus. I passed by Edward's dorm and I could see the light on in his room. It was open a crack and I could hear some music coming through, but I was too far away to figure out what.

I sighed again, feeling the strain our relationship was under, and kept trudging forward.

No one goes to the dining hall before 11:45 on a Saturday. It's just not done unless you're a nerd, socially awkward, or Alice. Alice always had brunch at 9:30 because that's when the dining hall opened. Something about the food being fresher.

Jasper was in charge of the food getting for our brunch excursions, so I saw him sitting with Alice and beside my empty plate.

I slumped down beside him, smiling a little at them both.

"Bella..." Alice started, "I'm so sorry."

I shrugged, grabbing some of the toast and some bacon. "It's okay. No harm done."

"But he looked...mad."

I shrugged again, not trusting myself to look up at her. "He wasn't." I didn't want to make her feel bad. "I think you just surprised him."

She was silent for a second and I felt Jasper's hand pat my back lightly. It's like he knew just how awful I was feeling after everything. That was really all I wanted; not Alice's analysis, or even advice. I didn't care. Like I said, I just wanted to wallow.

"So...who is he?" Alice finally asked. Even though I wasn't looking at her, I knew she would be practically bouncing with excitement.

I tore my bread in half. "Edward. He's a guy from one of my classes."

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"Alice, is that really your business?" Jasper asked softly, and my admiration grew for him ten fold.

"Well, no. But I did find them in bed together."

I shook my head, finally looking up from my food. "I got a little spooked last night, so I called him to come stay with me. He was going to sleep on the floor, but he just ended up with me."

It might sound odd, but I didn't feel like sharing Edward with anyone, even if it was my best friend and they were only memories. Every bit of Edward felt like mine.

"So is he...is he the one you..." Alice hinted.

There wasn't any point in denying it. After this morning, I didn't think that there'd be anything between us. So I nodded.

"Awwwwwww!" Alice cooed.

I waved her off. "It's nothing. Really."

"Yeah, that's how you ended up in bed with him."

I rolled my eyes. It wouldn't happen again, I knew. "It was nothing; I was just scared."

"Okayyyyyyy crazy Bella."

"So you were like, cuddling?" Jasper asked, pulling apart his orange and handing me a section.

I shrugged. "Sort off."

"Full on," Alice supplied. "Wrapped up and everything. I almost couldn't find Bella; her face was pushed so far into his shoulder."

What an awesome, awesome friend she was.

"Bella, a guy doesn't cuddle with a girl he likes as a friend." He turned back to Alice. "Clothes?"

"Boxers!"

"Yeah, Bella. He digs you."

I just...I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to even entertain the notion because it meant that somewhere, deep down, I wanted Edward in a way that I couldn't deal with after that morning.

And simply because I felt like I wanted something; like I wanted him, didn't mean he did, too.

I was thinking about things too much. It sucked because I had been using Edward as a distraction, and now he was what I needed distracting from. It wasn't right and everything felt backwards.

"Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you come out tonight?" Alice ventured, keeping her eyes firmly trained on the bowl of oatmeal in front of her.

I sucked in a breath, and then exhaled confidently. "Sure."

Her head snapped up and her eyes were wide. A smiled crept hesitantly across her lips as though moving any faster would make me change my mind. "Yeah?"

I nodded. I needed something (someone?) else. I couldn't do this to myself. "Yeah, definitely."

"Okay," she nodded enthusiastically, and I watched her plot like a general would plan his next offensive. "Do you have a fake?"

"No?" I wasn't aware that people really got those.

Alice waved her hand. "S'okay. Jasper knows a guy."

"Yeah, no worries. Do you have a picture?"

Oh, wow. This was turning into way more of a production than I intended.

"Bella, no. You said you'd go and you're going. It'll be fun," Alice interrupted my thoughts, taking me away from thinking about how awkward and out of my element I'd be.

I nodded. "You're right. I said I'd go, so I'll go. I _want_ to go," I emphasized, because it was true. I did want to go. I wanted to get myself out of the bone crushing, soul squashing hurt. Okay, maybe I was being a little dramatic, but hell, I could be if I felt like it.

What could possibly be worse than getting rejected?

***

By nine that night I had a new fake ID, a bra that had more padding in it than an entire football team, and some kind of contraption on my head that was supposed to give me "tousled, but not sloppy" waves. Looked like tape to me.

"You memorized the address, right?" Alice quizzed, poking at me with concealer.

"Yes, Alice," I huffed. She'd only asked me a million times.

"What is it?"

"They won't ask me."

"They might; it happens, you know."

"Yeah, I know. And you know me. I can do this. I'm not a baby." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes because that would have completely contradicted my point.

"Alright, alright. Point taken." She leaned back a little and cocked her head to the side, scrutinizing my face. "You look awesome," she commented, spinning around her desk chair so that I was faced with our full length mirror.

Huh. I was a girl after all. I knew it was me in the mirror, but somehow I never thought that I'd look my age. But this time I looked _older._ I might have passed for 21.

At least I'd memorized my address.

"So, I was thinking," Alice started. I turned back to her and she started pulling out the tape in my hair. "You should call Edward and see if he'd like to come out."

I shrugged, feeling an ache seep through me. "Nah, it's okay."

"You sure? I bet he'd wanna come."

"He probably has plans." I was trying to wave off the notion, but even the mention of his name brought back the gruff sounds of his voice when he'd left that morning.

Yeah, dwelling definitely wasn't going to help.

"Well, whatever. Maybe he'll be there anyway," she commented, pulling out the last piece of tape before fluffing up my hair.

This was true. The bar we were going to, Ted's, was where all the kids from campus went. There was a very high possibility that he'd be there.

I suddenly realized that I hadn't quite thought this through all the way. But it was too late and I couldn't back out now. Alice was bouncing like a toddler in one of those chair things.

We left our room and met Jasper downstairs to walk over to the bar. The night air was thick with humidity, and it was like being wrapped tightly in a blanket. Despite having moved here from somewhere that was constantly cold and wet, I loved it. The heat made me feel alive and surged through my body like fire. Somehow it gave me the extra boost I needed to not fake sick and go home.

I'm not sure what I was expecting as we approached the bar, but I wasn't expecting it to be an actual...bar. I guess I was expecting something...less stereotypical?

Ted's was packed, so Alice and I slipped past the guy checking ID's and into the crowd. I wasn't expecting it to be that easy, either. But I was glad it was.

Alice was tugging me toward the bar and I just stared out at the people around us in a daze. They were all happy; talking, drinking, and laughing with each other. A smile found its way to my lips when I realized that I wanted that, too. I didn't want to be this serious, studious person who didn't have _fun_ in her life. I wasn't saying I wanted to get wasted at every available opportunity, but just to not be so serious about everything all the time. Why couldn't I have both? Wasn't this the time of my life when I was supposed to have life by the balls? Or whatever the cliché analogy is?

Either way, that one moment changed my perspective on nearly everything. And I loved it.

Alice plopped my hand on the bar and gave a relieved sigh. "Just sit here, and we'll get some drinks, okay?"

I nodded, not sure what to do other than what I was told. Just because I wanted to start having fun didn't mean I knew how.

"What do you want?"

I shrugged.

"Okay. Beer?"

I shrugged again. She was supposed to be Yoda to my Luke. I couldn't make the decisions.

Alice ordered two, the knocked the neck of her bottle against mine. I took a hesitant sip, and was, again, surprised when I didn't hate it. In fact...I guess it was pretty good.

"Hey, I'm gonna go find Jasper, okay? You'll be alright?"

I nodded, taking another sip.

Seriously, if this is what this whole 'bar' thing was all about, I wasn't sure what the fuss was.

"Hey, I know you, don't I?" I turned a little to my left where the voice was coming from and I tried not to groan.

Hello, Mike Newton.

I nodded, sipping again. "Yeah. Bella Swan."

His face lit up in recognition. "Right, from Bio. What's up, Swan?"

I laughed a little, then swirled my bottle around. Hm, there wasn't much left in there. "Nothing, Newton. The usual. What about you?"

"Not much, Bella, not much," he grinned, then motioned to my bottle. "You want another? On me."

I shrugged. "Sure."

Mike leaned over the bar and motioned for another round, and I my mind went to Mike's roommate. If Mike was here, that meant Edward wouldn't be. Edward even said last night that when Mike wasn't around he took advantage of it. Then again, he could have gone out with that girl he'd mentioned.

"Hey, you okay, Bella?" Mike asked, passing me my beer.

I nodded, taking a deeper pull from the bottle than I was used to. But it felt good. I heard Mike chuckle and he was looking at me a little nervously. "Easy, Swan."

"No worries," I replied, then did it again. The fizz seemed to make Edward blurry around the edges in my mind's eye. That was exactly how I wanted him.

"So..." Mike started, clearly still taken aback by my beer drinking prowess. "How do you like it here?"

I shrugged. "It's good so far. You?"

"I hate it," he replied, laughing nervously.

"You do? But...you seem to like all those girls?"

I raised an eyebrow, twirling is own bottle around his fingers. "Oh, you noticed that, huh? That's more of just a hobby, I think."

"How's flirting a hobby?"

"Well, its fun and you never know what's gonna happen."

"Never ever?" I asked, taking another sip. Then another. "I think sometimes you do."

"Well, it's better than being like my roommate. He's terrified to even talk to girls sometimes."

I tensed, and drank more. "Y-yeah?"

"Cullen, do you know him? I think he said he has a class with you."

I nodded, my heart constricting. "Yeah, we do. Can I have another?" I asked, drinking the rest of it and trying to stop Edward from invading my mind yet again. He didn't want me; I just had to get over it.

"Bella, you sure?"

"Please?"

Mike hesitated but got me another. That one went down a lot slower. Once Mike stopped talking about Edward and started talking about everything else, we got along okay. I wasn't saying I wanted to run away with him and make babies, but I was wondering if maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

I was laughing--was my laugh always that obnoxious?--at something Mike said when Alice appeared beside me. "Having fun?" she smirked.

"Tooooonnnnssssss," I told her, grinning broadly. Everything was happy; happy like happy ponies in the meadow.

HA!

Alice chuckled a little and put her hand on my shoulder. "Jasper and I are going to leave in a little bit."

I deflated immediately. "Awwwwwww. You're suchhh a party POOOPER! Stay amother...amyonther...littler bit."

"I can get her home," Mike piped up, and I could have fucking kissed him.

"Thanks Mikey!" I squealed. "But I have to pee," I announced, kinda getting off the stool and falling. Either way, I was rid of it.

Before either of them could say anything, I was stalking back through the crowd and waving to people I may or may not have known. I was an equal opportunity waver. Somehow, though, I found myself outside Ted's. Hmmm. I couldn't pee here. I went back over to the door, only to find it locked.

Who locks the door? Why would you lock the door? That's just...lame.

"They lock it at 11," I heard someone call. I whipped around to find a tall blonde guy, smoking a cigarette up against the side of the building.

"That's dumb," I pouted.

He laughed a little, taking another drag. "Yeah, tell me about it. My friends are in there, and I don't think they know I'm missing."

"Can't you call them?"

"It's a bar; who's gonna hear their phone ring?"

"Good point, Wise sir," I commented, grinning and spinning in a circle. "I'm Isabella, by the way."

"James. Nice to meet you."

"You as well, kind sir."

He laughed, a little darkly, and flicked his cigarette butt onto the pavement. He moved closer to me. "What brings you out tonight, Isabella."

"I'm with--with my friend Alice," I replied, starting to get nervous when my back came in contact with the brick wall.

"Alice, huh?" he asked, his hands suddenly beside my head. I was really getting nervous now and my breath was coming out in pants.

Then my phone rang. I held up a hand in front of my face and ducked out from under his arms.

"Hello?" I answered quickly, trying to put as much distance between James and me as I could.

"Bella? Bella?" Edward's voice calmed me down and startled me at the same time. "Where are you?"

"At Ted's. Why're you calling?" I was so happy it was Edward. For some reason--probably the three beers I'd had--I just blurted out the first thing that came into my mind. "But I need you. I'm scared."

His breath hitched and it sounded like he was...walking? "I'm two blocks away. Are you safe?"

I looked back at James who was stalking toward me slowly, creeping me out with his Jack Nicholson smile. "No."

"Alright, stay on the phone with me, okay? Whatever you do, don't hang up."

"How come you were so mean to me?" I asked, feeling hopeless as James continued, pushing me back up against the wall.

"It's time to hang up now," he whispered.

I let out a harsh breath, thinking that this would be the last time I'd talk to Edward. I had to know what was going on.

He never answered the question, though, because James was suddenly ripped from me. I closed my eyes and sunk down to the ground, but Edward's voice rang through my fear. "You don't touch her. Ever."

There was a scuffle, but I pulled my knees further up and buried my face in them. This sucked. This was un-fun to the max.

"You think you're tough, huh?" James sneered. "I'd like to see what a kid like you could do."

My heart tensed.

"When it comes to _her,_ I will _not _hesitate to kill you. That is a promise," Edward's voice was so deep and menacing I almost didn't recognize it.

"She wanted it."

"You son-of-a--"

I heard the door swing open, then Jasper's voice all of a sudden. "STOP!"

"Oh, my God, Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked, crouching down beside me and trying to get me to lift my head.

"Yeah...where's Edward?" I asked, not bothering to lift my head. I just wanted to know he was okay.

"Bella?" I heard Edward's voice call softly in front of me.

I lifted my head slowly, looking up at him for the first time in what felt like years. I lunged for him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face in his shoulder. "Thank you...thank you...thank you," I repeated. It didn't feel like enough. Something awful could have happened, and once again I was saved by Edward. Once again, he was the one who was keeping me together.

"I'm taking her home," I heard Edward say as he lifted me up to his chest, as though I weighed less than a feather. "We'll be back by Monday."

"I can't just let you walk away with her," Alice called. I could hear her heels clacking against the pavement after Edward.

"I think you've done enough," he replied, his voice seething with anger.

Alice didn't say anything but we kept walking. I was suddenly cognizant of the fact that we were moving away from the bar and I was being put in the seat of a car.

I opened my eyes hesitantly and Edward was crouched beside me, looking like he was in pain. "Are you okay?" he asked again, his hand coming up to tuck my hair behind my ear.

I nodded slowly, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. "I'm so, so sorry."

He shook his head. "No. You have nothing to apologize for, okay? Nothing. It's all my fault."

"But, Edward, I--"

"No, Bella," he said, just as softly but with more force. "Let's not...let's not do this here. Let's just go, get some sleep, and we'll talk tomorrow."

I nodded as he stood to shut my door and went around the other side. He slid the key into the ignition and we pulled out onto the deserted street.

"Where're we going?" I asked.

"My house," he said softly. Edward's parents had a beach house only 40 minutes from campus and I knew that's where he was taking me.

"A-are you sure?" I asked hesitantly.

His grip tightened on the wheel and his eyes never wavered from the road. "Yeah. We have a lot to talk about."

I shut my eyes and just waited. I knew that there were things to be said, and I knew that Edward and I were walking a fine line. But I needed it. Dare I say, I needed him.

"You can see the ocean from here," he murmured, looking out over my shoulder. I turned to look and saw the full moon shining over the beach, reflecting over the rolling waves.

"We're here already?"

He shrugged but I saw a small smile tugging at his lips. "I drive a little fast."

"I'll say," I muttered. It hadn't taken us any time to get here at all.

Edward turned down a long drive leading up to a typical beach house--white with blue shutters--that could have been in Pottery Barn or something.

He cut the engine and came around to my side. "The lights are off."

"There's no one here," he said, lifting me again and wrapping my legs around his waist. My head lolled to his shoulder and I let out a sigh of relief. It felt good to be back in his arms.

I felt him unlock the door and push it open. He didn't bother with the lights, just shut and relocked the door before heading upstairs with me. "Come here often?"

"Just when I need to think," he said, putting me down on a huge, white bed.

"Wow."

"It's the guest room," Edward shrugged as if this being the guest room explained everything, when in reality, it meant nothing to me.

"Are you staying with me?" I asked, feeling my cheeks start to stain with red.

He sucked in his cheeks, and I watched him nod as he walked through another door. A light went on and I heard the water running.

Bathroom.

He came back out a second later with a wash cloth and knelt back down in front of me. One hand came up under my chin to make me look at him, and the other started rubbing all of Alice's hard work from my face. "You don't need all of this, you know."

I looked away. "I thought I looked nice."

"You don't." My eyes shot up in hurt. "You look devastatingly gorgeous." He brushed the cloth over my eyes, and I sighed. "But you're always beautiful."

I didn't say anything; too stunned by the sincerity in his voice to respond. This had to be a dream. Alice must have brought me home and put me to bed because there was no way this was happening.

The cloth swiped down over my cheek, and my eyes opened slowly, hesitantly.

"I'm gonna get you something to change into, okay?" he whispered.

I could only nod. He stood again, going back through the bathroom. I could hear him open another door, so I flopped back to wait for him.

Everything felt so surreal. He wasn't supposed to be here. Well, really, I wasn't supposed to be here, but regardless, I shouldn't have been with Edward. It was too much to ask for and everything that I wanted.

"Bella," Edward's voice invaded my mind again, my eyes opened slowly. "Sit up, I'll help you."

I reached out for him, and he pulled me up. I fell too far and my head crashed into his stomach. I felt, rather than heard, the rumble of laughter move through his chest. I grinned into his t-shirt, happy to hear that sound again. "We'll always be friends, right?" I asked, pulling away from him as I took off my shirt. Edward's eyes went wide and he promptly turned around.

"If that's what you want."

He handed me a t-shirt, and I slipped it on. "I want you...around."

I pulled off my jeans, and he handed me his boxers. "I'll always be around...for you."

I slid them on and then tapped his shoulder. "Always?"

He nodded solemnly. "No take-backs."

I smiled a little. "No take-backs."

He grinned slowly and pushed me back toward the bed. "Sleep, Bella."

I got under the covers, and grabbed his wrist. "Stay with me?"

He nodded, heaving a sigh. "Lemme go," he said, shaking his wrist from me. I let go but watched him move to the other side of the bed where he pulled off his jeans, followed by his shirt. The mattress depressed under his weight and I turned to face him.

"I wanna...I wanna talk...to you," I whispered, my eyes sliding shut.

"Tomorrow," Edward whispered.

I reached out and pulled his arms closer. "Tomorrow."

I didn't know what would happen, but being in Edward's arms made me think that it wouldn't be so bad after all.


	5. Chapter 4: Love Story

Chapter 4: Love Story

Love Story by Taylor Swift

BPOV

I think that the thing I liked most about waking up beside Edward was the way that he made me feel...at home.

It wasn't a completeness, so to speak, because I was my own person with my own opinions, and I didn't need him to help me make them. I was just more comfortable when he was around.

So when my eyes blinked open the next morning, sun streaming in through the white, filmy curtains all I could do was smile to myself, despite the pounding in my head. Edward's chest was flush to my back, his arm wrapped protectively around my waist and his face buried in my shoulder.

It felt like yesterday all over again, but without the unwelcome intrusion of Alice. It was the way that it should have been.

Ugh, I'm never going anywhere with Alice again.

Images of last night invaded the tranquility of my morning, and I was so irritated that I'd let myself do those things. I mean, Mike? Of all people, Mike?

Good Lord, Bella.

I groaned to myself, but a little too loudly, and Edward began to shift beside me.

Oops.

"Bella..." He murmured, adjusting his grip on my body and pushing his face further into my neck.

This was much, much better than yesterday.

I gave myself a few moments to enjoy the feel of his body around mine because...because it just felt good. For the first time ever I felt okay around someone who wasn't my father or a family member.

Edward saved me last night when I probably wouldn't have been able to save myself, and he took care of me to boot. It was really sweet of him.

Hm.

I should do something for him, too.

Carefully, I shifted against his arms, peeling his fingers from my stomach. Edward groaned a little, then twisted his fingers in mine and squeezed. Guh, he was going to kill me.

Okay, new plan.

I lifted our joined hands, which in turn lifted our arms, and slid out from under it being carful not to move too quickly and shift the mattress.

I slid out from under the sheets, and stood slightly hunched over as he held onto my hand. I squeezed it a little, and was surprised when he squeezed back, shifting again. I couldn't help but smile down at him, and how innocent he looked. His hair was falling down his forehead, almost touching his eyes, and his lips were puckered into the most kissable pout I'd ever seen. Whoever got to wake up to him for the rest of their life was a lucky son-of-a-gun.

Not gonna lie, I was a little jealous.

I smiled down at him, carefully pulling my hand from his and watching as he wrapped himself around my pillow, a crease forming in his brow. I reached out tentatively, running my fingers over the spot, and sighing when it smoothed out, turning Edward back into the content sleeper he was.

I padded carefully out of the room, and found my way into the huge kitchen. The sand colored wood floors blended seamlessly against the light blue of the walls and into the gray granite counter tops. I mean, it was immaculate and beautiful. It was exactly what I expected of Edward's (parent's) kitchen. It was neat and organized, just like he was.

I went through each of the cabinets, finding them fully stocked, and every gadget known to man. This was perfect for me. At home, I'd cook for my father daily because he was basically incompetent in the kitchen. I liked it, too. It was a chance to be alone with my thoughts in the cramped house that I shared with my dad.

I decided to make Edward pancakes for breakfast, some blueberry, some chocolate chip and some banana because I didn't know which he liked. If he didn't like pancakes at all, I could always find some cereal.

Flipping the fluffy disks made me think about everything that had happened between us over the weekend, and I wasn't sure what to make out of any of it. One minute he was holding me tightly and the next he was pushing me away. It didn't make sense and was completely contradictory. Part of me wished that we could go back to Thursday and re do the whole weekend, but another part (a bigger part) was glad for it. After this weekend, I'd know if Edward and I would ever have a chance as...as a we.

I was just flipping the last few chocolate chip onto a plate when I heard Edward padding down the stairs, then toward the kitchen. My heart was beating faster and faster, my palms sweating. I'd never actually considered how I'd start this conversation. I mean, it's not like I could say "oh, hey. I made three different kinds of pancakes just so I could learn your favorite cause I'm a stalker like that."

Yeah, that wasn't gonna fly.

"Bella?" He called. His voice was deep and raspy from sleep, and I could hear him taking slow breaths so I knew he'd just woken up.

I turned slowly toward the sound of his voice, and sucked in a deep breath. "Hey. I'm here."

He stumbled slowly into the kitchen, a small smile playing at his lips. "What's all this?"

I shrugged, pulling the other two plates from the oven. "I didn't know what kind of pancakes you liked, so I made three kinds."

He chuckled to himself. "What if I like them all."

I smirked, putting all three out in front of him. "Then there won't be any left over."

I explained what each plate was, and he kept his eyes trained on them, appraisingly. "I didn't know you even knew how to cook."

I nodded, passing him a fork and napkin. "Yeah, I used to cook for my dad all the time at home."

"Must be weird being in the dorm, then." Edward said, taking two blueberry and one banana. "Having someone else doing the cooking, I mean."

I nodded, grabbing my own plate and taking one chocolate chip and one banana before sitting beside him. "I usually think of ways I can make the recipe better."

He laughed lightly again, then lifted his fork to me. "Should I be worried?"

I scowled. "No."

He popped the slices into his mouth, and his eyes rolled back in his head. "I thought you might want to poison me after my behavior yesterday, but if this is my last meal, then I don't care."

I laughed a little at his exaggeration, and took a bite of my own. "You like them then?"

"Definitely. I think I need to buy you the equipment you need to make me these on a regular basis."

I didn't quite know how to take that. Yesterday was so all over the place...and today was back to normal. Sitting beside me was the Edward I'd come to know over the last two weeks but he was someone I'd assumed would be lost to me after the morning's jarring wake-up call. He was laughing and joking as though none of it had happened; like he hadn't spent the last 8 hours holding me like I was the only thing keeping him afloat.

After a few minutes had gone by, and I still hadn't said anything, Edward cleared his throat. "Do you want coffee?"

I nodded, picking at my pancake. "Sure."

He pushed out his stool, making his way around the island and pulling out the coffee canister. "You didn't have to do all of this, you know."

I shrugged, watching him measure out the scoops, then the water. "I know. But I thought It'd be a good way to say thank you for...helping me out last night."

I immediately flushed and looked down at my dish. It sucked that the one (and definitely only) time I'd gotten drunk, I almost get raped AND hit on by Mike Newton. This is my luck.

Figures.

Edward let out a deep sigh, and I heard him flick the on button. "I'm just glad I got to you in time. It could have been a lot worse."

His voice was so soft, it was disarming. I chanced a peek up at him, and his eyes were trained on me, gentle and kind. He was incomplete juxtaposition with the way he seemed this time yesterday.

I nodded, tearing off another piece of pancake. "Completely. How...how did you know where to find me?"

He sighed again, raking a hand through his hair. "I didn't. That's why I called."

"But...after the way you left yesterday morning..." I trailed off, the pieces still not coming together in my mind. After yesterday, I didn't think we'd be friends anymore.

Edward leaned his forearms on the counter of the island in front of me, his face mere inches from my own. "Bella...I am so, so sorry about the way I left you yesterday. I wasn't thinking, I just..." He shook his head, dropping his gaze from mine as he gathered his thoughts. "I was just caught off guard. I've been having such a hard time with...things recently, and--" He pushed off the counter, seeming irritated and turned his back to me. "I just don't know how to act around you anymore."

I cocked my head to the side, staring at the white tee shirt that covered his lean back. "Why, though? Edward, it's just me."

"That's the problem," he mumbled. "It's you."

Not gonna lie, my heart broke a little. "Do you...do you want me to go?" My voice sounded broken, even to me. I hated that I was so vulnerable in front of him, yet again, and he didn't seem to notice.

He spun around, distress written all over his face and shook his head. "That is the very last thing I want."

"Then I don't get it, Edward." I told him, annoyed that he could make my heart flutter when he smiled and stop cold when he frowned. "What happened yesterday morning that made this anymore than what it had been? It was only Alice; it was only me and you. It's not like...like I was snorting coke when you woke up or you found out I was really a guy. Why did you freak out like you did?"

"Bella, I did not freak out." He said, agitated. "I just--"

"Overreacted." I finished for him, crossing my arms over my chest. "You left me there, thinking I wasn't worth anything to you; not even as your friend, even though you've been my best friend for the last two weeks. Yesterday morning I saw something in you I hadn't before." I sighed, looking down at my hands. "I hated that you treated me like every other guy I'd ever met. I never thought that would happen with you."

Everything was silent, except for the heavy exhale of his breath. I really didn't have anything else to say to him, and I refused to apologize for being honest.

"That...fuck, Bella, I..." He trailed off, words once again escaping him.

He tried, but I didn't really want a half hearted apology. "It's fine, Edward." I whispered, scooting my stool out and hopping off. "I'm gonna take a shower and then take the bus back to campus. Thanks for letting me stay."

I shuffled quietly toward the door, keeping my eyes trained on my feet because that seemed to be the only way to keep the tears from spilling over. I could get used to being alone again. It would just be harder this time, now that I knew what it was like to be a part of something.

All of a sudden, a pair of strong hands were gripping my arms, effectively halting my movements. Edward was standing in front of me, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. His hands squeezed my arms, then started running up and down slowly.

"Hey," he whispered, bending down to look at me. "I am so sorry I made you feel that way, because that's the last thing I've ever wanted. Ever. I did overreact, and I was so ashamed of myself after I didn't know what to do. I didn't think you'd ever want to speak to me again, let alone listen to any sort of apology that I could offer." His breath washed over my face, and he stood up straight, taking my gaze with him. "But I promise, I'll never make you feel like that again."

"No take backs?" I sniffed.

He chuckled a little, and nodded. "No take backs."

I offered a watered down smile, so Edward pulled me into his arms. "You're my...best friend, Bella. I owe you so much, you know?"

Kind of, I wanted to say as I wrapped my arms around his waist. "You don't owe me anything." I replied instead. "I'm your friend; it's what friends do."

There was a beat of silence, and I felt Edward start talking into my hair. "Bella...Bella do you think that you...that you could ever...I mean, if we could ever...shit, this isn't coming out right." He muttered with a nervous laugh.

I tilted my head to look up at him. "If we could ever what?"

His head turned slightly to the left, and I watched as his eyes appraised my face. I watched as his hand came up to traced over the curve of my jaw. "If we could ever be...more."

My heart stopped, and I had to focus on taking in breaths because there was no way this was happening. "Are you...you mean, you and I? Like...you and I...together?" I breathed. It seemed like that's what he was asking, but then again, why should he? How could he possibly want me the way I wanted him?

But all of that was negated with a simple nod of his head. The nod, pushing away all of my nay saying and all of my negative impressions of our relationship and giving way to the giddy, giggling girl I'd never allowed myself to be. The boy I liked...was asking if I liked him because he liked me back. Shit like this doesn't happen, and yet I couldn't make it up.

So I did the girl thing, giggling up at him with a huge perma-smile. "I'd like that." Oh, how Katharine Hepburn of me.

He let out a puff of air, kind of in disbelief, and a slow crooked smile graced his lips. "You...you mean that?"

I rolled my eyes. "Edward, do you think I'd make three different kinds of pancakes for just anyone?"

He blushed a little, and looked down at the floor. "Maybe."

"Well I wouldn't." I informed. "Only...only for you." It was a bold statement, but I hoped that he knew I was being sincere. I probably wouldn't ever make pancakes for anyone else ever again.

He nodded, letting my words sink in then looked back up at me. "So you'll stay?"

"Of course."

"Good." He said, nudging me back toward the counter. "Eat, you barely touched your food."

"Yes, mother." I muttered sarcastically.

"Watch it Swan. Just cause you have my wrapped around your little finger doesn't mean I won't punish you."

I laughed, plopping back down in my stool. "Punish me, huh?"

"Yup," he confirmed, popping the 'p'. "I'll think of something."

"I bet you will." I took another pancake and Edward started pouring coffee. "Hey, Edward?"

"Hey, Bella." He mimicked.

I rolled my eyes, but asked my question anyway. "Do you think it's weird that we do this?"

"No, everyone eats breakfast. Well, people who want to be nutritionally sound, anyway."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "That's not what I meant."

"Then explain."

"I meant that we're so...hot and cold? Do you think that's weird?"

He paused for a second, passing me the milk. "No, not really. I mean, we're 18. We're not really supposed to be known for our epic communication skills."

I laughed at his analysis of us, and took another bite. "So...it's cool if we fight and stuff."

He looked up at me, blinking slightly. "So you've really never done this before?"

"IF by 'this' you mean have a someone like you, then no. I never have." I confirmed, for the first time not feeling that self-conscious about it. It was okay if Edward saw all of me because he'd let me see all of him.

"I thought you were lying. I mean, have you seen you lately?"

I laughed a little at his assessment. "Every day, actually."

He let out another disbelieving laugh and raked a hand through his hair again. "Well, I'm glad guys are blind assholes because I'd never have a chance with you if everyone else saw what I'm fortunate enough to."

I felt the blush heat my cheeks, but I made myself hold his gaze. "You don't have to say stuff like that, you know. I like you just fine already."

He grinned at me. "I know I don't have to, but I want to." He looked down at his cup, spinning it twice in its place. "I think I'll have to get you to see yourself the way I do."

I could really, really get used to this. Part of me (the cynical part) kept saying that it was only a dream and that I really hadn't any right to Edward's affections. I was still same old Bella Swan that I'd always been. Nothing had changed in the last two weeks about me; no extraordinary life choices. The other part, the more dominant and rational part was screaming at me to embrace it. If I ran away from this, I realized, from what Edward and I were starting, I'd never have a chance at this with anyone.

So I decided to jump, hard and head first into whatever Edward and I were starting, consequences be what they may.

It honestly didn't matter, so long as I got to have him around.

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the epic delay...won't happen again, I promise. This isn't beta'd mostly cause I felt awful about the wait. Thanks, though, to LMW cause without her half of the brain, I definitely would have been totally stuck.

Check out my St. Pat's one shot while you're over here: Lions, Magnets and Luck...I promise it's fluffy :)

Leave me some love, and if you feel so inclined, follow me on the twitter: theotherbella


	6. Chapter 5: My Love

Chapter 6: My Love

My Love by Sia

A/N: well...here it is. Long overdue, but I hope you like it. Leave me some love; I broke my wrist so I could sure use it :)

* * *

BPOV

"Edward?" I started, hesitantly because he and I were still nose to nose in the middle of his kitchen.

"Yes, Bella?" Came his reply, soft and dulcet; keeping me wrapped completely in us.

"Is it odd...that I'm having all of these completely ridiculous thoughts about...you and I?"

He chuckled lightly, and lifted me expertly as though I weighed nothing. "For instance?"

Being with you forever and how your arms make me feel like I could walk on water and...cure cancer. "I dunno. Just that we can do things now."

He put me down gently on the bed, leaning over me. "Lots of things."

Suddenly, I was nervous. Not because I thought he'd do anything harmful to me, but because I'd never been this close to a boy before. That, and that it all felt so natural with him.

It felt like Edward and I were supposed to be this close; like there wasn't ever supposed to be anything between us and we were supposed to _work_ together.

I reached up hesitantly and put my palm to his cheek, feeling the heat from his skin diffuse into mine and run through my body. "Some firsts?"

He nodded, leaning into my touch slightly, but his eyes never left mine. "Some."

I bit my lip and put my other hand to his cheek so that I was cupping his face in my hands. "You didn't shave," I murmured, feeling the stubble scrape against my palms.

"No time," he said softly, leaning forward so that his lips were brushing against my forehead.

"I think...there might be something I want right now." I whispered, closing my eyes.

"What's that?"

"A first," I replied, tilting my head up the way I'd seen Lauren Bacall do to Humphrey Bogart in _The Maltese Falcon._

My eyes were closed, and I just waited. Sure enough, Edward's hands came to my cheeks, cupping my face in his hands and I felt his lips brush down my nose. My own lips parted, both because of his proximity and the tingle that he left behind. He knew exactly how to move and what to do to light my every nerve on fire.

Suddenly, I felt his breath against my lips and I felt myself relax into him. I wasn't nervous anymore. I wasn't worried that I wouldn't do it right, or that I wouldn't be enough. He made me feel like I was enough simply with the lightest of touches.

It made me feel invincible. It made me feel like he could see into my very soul.

Then, I felt his lips on mine.

Slowly, softly he kissed me. All of the things I thought I'd be worried about were non-issues. My nose didn't bump into his, and our teeth didn't hit each others. He pulled away only slightly, pulling my bottom lip into his mouth and nipping on it. I let out a shaky breath, only from how close I felt to him right then.

My hands, not wanting to sit idle much longer, then moved up his arms to twist into the mess of hair I'd thought about for the last few weeks. Just as soft as it looked. I sighed into his mouth as he pushed for more; to taste more of me. I couldn't get over how much he seemed to need me; to need to have me as close to him as I could be.

All too soon, I pulled away, feeling him sigh and begin to plant soft kisses on my cheek. His hands moved from my face and down to my back to pull me closer.

"Thank you," I breathed, my eyes still closed as I panted against him.

"For what, love?"

I smiled at the term of endearment, and began scratching lightly at his scalp. "My first kiss."

He chuckled a little, pressing me closer to him and moving my legs to straddle his lap. "You're welcome. Did you like it?"

It was my turn to laugh, and I kissed his nose. "Immensely. I'm glad it was you."

"Me too," He whispered. "I like the idea of having first with you."

"Hopefully a bunch," I said, my mind going through all of them.

Edward only nodded, touching my face again before kissing me gently. "As many as you'll allow me."

I let out a ragged breath against him, wondering if the sparks I felt when he touched me would ever wain. I certainly hoped not. And something, something deep inside me told me that it wouldn't, as well.

Even through my limited experience, I knew that Edward felt different. Before him, it felt like I'd never even had a crush, let alone felt this for anyone. My mother was screaming in my head that it was hormones. She would, after all, since that's what she'd come to label any kind of attachment. That was why she'd left me and my dad in the first place. She had 'hormones' for one of the teachers at my elementary school, and left us.

One day, she simply didn't pick me up from the after school day care. I remembered my dad coming to pick me up, wrapping me up tightly in his arms. I remembered his silent tears against my shoulder. More than anything I remembered never looking back after that day.

I still saw my mom. Once I was old enough to understand why she'd left my Dad, she explained that she'd come to the conclusion that love-the entity, didn't really exist. Love was over-active hormones.

Love was a non-entity.

But when Edward's hands pulled me ever closer, and his lips brushed against my temple, it certainly felt like something.

"Edward," I murmured, fisting my hand in his tee shirt, and leaning my forehead back to his. "Tell me it feels the same for you." Please, I chanted silently. Please.

He only nodded, his sweet breath washing over my face. "The very same. I can feel it when you kiss me; when you touch me. You light me on fire, Bella."

I sighed, smiling. "Good, because I hear this whole...unrequited thing is a bitch."

He chuckled, pulling away just enough to tuck my hair behind my ear. "Me too. But I don't think that's something we have to worry about."

I shook my head. "I agree."

"No take-backs."

He leaned in, kissing my quickly. "No take-backs." Kiss. "I'm sorry your lips are just," kiss. "So sweet."

I blushed a bit. "As long as you think so."

Edward grinned. "I do. I'm coming to find that there's nothing I don't like about you."

"Nothing?"

He shook his head. "I think we're made for each other because we sleep on opposite sides of the bed."

"What?"

"You sleep on the left and I sleep on the right."

"So..." I started, not entirely sure what he was getting at. "We're supposed to be together because we don't have the same preference."

"Uh huh," he mumbled, pushing me back and then laying on his side. "It makes us a compliment of the other."

I turned my head to look at him, completely baffled by this crazy but nonetheless amazing boy beside me. "To everything?"

He shrugged, one lithe and precise finger tracing a smooth line from the middle of my forehead, down my nose and then over my lips to my jaw. "Maybe. We'll find out, I suppose."

"And what if we aren't," I asked, mostly teasing but wondering just the same.

Edward smiled, the perfect crooked smile he seemed to reserve only for me. "Then we aren't and we learn to compromise."

Compromise is not a word a loner child who's best friends were well worn copies of the classics and who spent afternoons singing at the top of her lungs to whatever happened to be on the radio would be well acquainted with.

Which is why I think it freaked me out a little.

"What if I'm bad at it," I mumbled, looking up at him with wide eyes. "What if I can't?"

Edward shook his head and pressed his lips softly to my forehead. "You can't be. You just...you won't be."

"But what if I am?" I asked, sitting up and looking at him. "It's possible."

He tugged at his hair, looking completely bewildered. "I know you won't be, though. You aren't that selfish."

All of a sudden, it felt like I was terrified. All I wanted was for things to be the way they were last week; before any of this had happened. "I don't know that and neither do you," I told him, inching away. "I've never been in this type of a situation before. How do I know I won't be completely selfish and insane...and...and...awful to you?"

Edward smiled softly, sitting up to face me. "Because you're still Bella. You're still just as compassionate and selfless as the day I met you. You won't change, Bella, I promise. I...like you just as you are. It doesn't matter about the compromises we'll make because they'll probably be about stupid things like...I dunno, where you squeeze the toothpaste from."

"Top," I replied reflexively, biting my thumb nail and unable to calm my nerves.

"Me too," he said, pulling me back into his lap and smoothing back my hair. "Don't over think this, Bella. Please. Not before we've even got going, really."

I sighed against him, simultaneously wondering how he could calm me down with only the sound of his voice and the touch of his fingers. "I'm sorry I freaked out," I mumbled, pulling myself closer and kissing the base of his neck. "I don't want to...do something wrong."

"You won't," Edward assured me, leaning into my touch. "Let it happen,Bella. I promise I'm right there with you."

I nodded, feeling his words wash over me and running them over in my head. I wondered if I could. I wondered if I would be able to let Edward and I happen without analyzing it and second guessing myself.

"Stop, Bella," Edward's voice cut through my thoughts like a knife.

"What?"

He sighed, cradling me in his arms and brushing his fingers over my forehead tenderly. "You're thinking way too hard about this; I can tell."

I smiled a little. "You can? How?"

"Your forehead scrunches up and you pout," He told me, kissing me again. I didn't think I'd ever get tired of how his lips felt against mine. "I love the pout; it makes me want to kiss you, but I don't want you to be stressed about something as effortless as you and I."

Effortless.

"You really think we can be," I asked, curling further into him.

"Of course," he confirmed, his voice so resolute and sure. "That's how it should be. Not to say it won't take some work, but you and I...Bella, the way I feel about you right now will only grow, I know it. I know...I know deep down somewhere that you feel it, too. You just have to let yourself," he encouraged.

I wanted to. For him, I wanted to. I wanted to be anything and everything he needed. All without over thinking it.

"Edward," I asked, this time kissing him and moaning a little at the feel of his lips. "Why?"

He sighed again, his head falling to my shoulder. "It doesn't matter, Bella; the only thing that matters is that we have it."

I nodded. He was right.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, bringing my hands up to cup his face again and kissing wherever my lips found the space. "Forgive me. I'm so sorry. I'm just...so fucking scared."

"Of what, love?" He asked, wrapping his solid arms around me and pulling me closer. "There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Everything," I murmured. "I want to be enough. I want to do this right. I want to..." Not lose you. Ever. "be with you."

"Bella, you are." Edward assured me, lifting the comforter up to wrap around us. "You are absolutely enough. I'm so in awe of you; with every moment that passes I want more." The smile that lit up his face was electric. He really and truly believed what he was telling me. Moreover, he wanted me to believe it too.

I leaned my forehead back to his. "You, are amazing Edward Cullen. Completely amazing."

He shook his head, his soft bronze hair tickling my skin. "Only because of you, I promise."

"Tell me more about you. I want to know...everything."

Edward laughed a bit, his lips planting firmly against my neck. "I broke my ankle when I was six playing football with my brother, Emmett. He was four. I never liked living in the city because I got tired of the noise all the time. I prefer it here; I like feeling alone with my thoughts sometimes." There was a pause, and I was going to ask him to continue before he filled the silence.

"The first day we met, I was so nervous that you wouldn't call me for lunch that I changed my shirt four times. I wanted to impress you because I wanted you to be my friend. I was falling for you even then," he chuckled. "I wanted to be able to be near you without seeming like a stalker.

"I knew I wanted more when I started dreaming of you. That first night. All, PG stuff though," he laughed, teasing me. "I guess I wanted to be with you regardless of consciousness."

I grinned, and kissed him. He was so at ease with me,and he was right. This was all supremely effortless. "Me too. I wanted to spend...every moment I could with you, but I didn't want to push it, either. Apparently I'm oblivious to other people's emotions."

He raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Hardly. All that matters is where you are now. But...because I did, I want your stories, too."

I took a deep breath, trying to think of something funny or witty or amusing...but then I realized that I only needed to be myself. "Once, when I was five or six, I skinned my knee and told my grandma that the wind would heal it. I"m accident prone and I have a hard time staying vertical. Before I met you, I wasn't sure that I even needed this with someone. I thought I was going to get through college and then move on. No attachments or anything. But...once I knew you, that was all I wanted. I knew I had to keep you in my life somehow because...because there was no way that someone as wonderful as you would want someone as average as me."

"You aren't average," Edward murmured, kissing me softly; encouragingly. "You're anything but."

I wanted to tell him he was wrong; that I'd literally been striving for anonymity my entire life. But sudden, wrapped in Edward's arms, it seemed dumb. Why the hell would I want to blend into the wood work and be anybody when I could be somebody to Edward?

"I...like that you think so," I whispered, feeling my skin tingle as his fingers traced lines over my back. I could have stayed like that forever.

His head leaned against mine and I hummed against his skin. "You don't see yourself clearly," he murmured. "I only wish you could see how good you are."

I shrugged, not really knowing what to say to his confession. "Maybe I will. In time."

Edward nodded, "you will. I'll show you, love."


	7. Chapter 6: Neutron Star Collision

A/N: Um...so Hi. No excuses, but to say that I'm so so sorry. Hopefully some of you will read this, but if not that's okay too. I'd like to complete it, so hopefully if I get more regular with these update type things, you guys will start again.

Anyway, hopefully this will be okay. Reviews are love, so leave some :)

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Chapter 7:Neutron Star Collision

Neutron Star Collision by Muse

BPOV

I think that partly because of the way we came together, and partly because of the way Edward seemed to anticipate my moods we were extremely cohesive.

The more time I spent with him, the more I got to understand what exactly having a boyfriend was like, the less I wanted my traditional solitude. I was completely honest with him when I said I hadn't anticipated something like us for me. I really never found myself pretty enough, funny enough, special enough to get something like...love.

But I think that most people feel that way, too. Not everyone finds their soul mate at 15, and not everyone finds theirs at 25, either. I was coming to find that it happened when it happened, and there was nothing you could do to expedite the process.

That's not to say that Edward and I didn't have our fights.

We were passionate about everything; we were electric almost to the point of destruction. But somehow, every time we were at the brink of going up in flames, we were able to bring it back. It could be something as simple as the way he looked at me suddenly, as though I were physically holding his happiness in my hands and could crush it at will, or as deep as when he told me to tell him out loud that I didn't love him.

Which I never could. Because he knew just like I did that I loved him till the end.

The more I fought it the harder I fell, and once I realized what this feeling was I didn't feel so alone. It wasn't like getting inducted into some secret club or anything, or even like Edward and I had a secret. I just felt...good. For the first time in my very limited life, I felt like I was finally where I needed to be, and doing what I was supposed to be doing. Maybe it wasn't so much about what I was working toward but rather who I was going there with. Edward made it clear, over and over and whenever I asked him to that he was happy; that he wasn't missing anything.

I was surprised to find that this mattered to me more than anything.

I was more concerned with him than myself, and it was more important to me that he was taken care of. This was a huge and cataclysmic shift for an only child living with her father. Not to say I wasn't self sufficient or anything, just that in a matter of mere moments my life shifted from me to Edward and I.

It was perfect and instant and to be honest, expected. I knew I wanted to be with him, and his confirmation meant everything to me; it meant that I would never be alone in this and that we could make it through anything. No matter what.

"Bella, you need to at least attempt to study," Edward scolded one afternoon as we laid side by side on the floor in his room. "A little."

I laughed some, marveling at how much I didn't care about this stuff anymore. That's not to say I didn't care completely, I just cared more about other things. LIke the way Edward felt when he was pressed against me, or how his hair looked when I'd been tugging at it. "I'm trying, but you're just too good looking."

He laughed a little, smirking at me. "And you're a cheese ball."

I huffed a little, rolling my eyes. "Thanks. That's a real confidence booster."

"I was hoping it would be, you know, since I"ve had a lack of cheese-y-ness from you lately," Edward replied, his eyes flicking back to whatever he was reading. I'm sure he told me, but to be honest I still had a hard time _not_ focusing on how strong his jaw seemed, how sure his fingers were as they flipped the pages, and more importantly how ...good he looked when he was happy.

And, like I said, he told me he was happy a lot.

But, because I was starting to get used to the whole...playing around with him thing, I leaned my head on his shoulder, looking back at my book. "None of this is sinking in."

"I know, you've been on page thirty-two for the last half an hour."

I shut the book, realizing it was a pointless venture and rolled on to my back to that I could stare at him in a more effective manner. "You're distracting me."

His eyes flicked over to mine, and the grin that both colors my dreams and my world splayed across his lips. "Should I go then? I know you have to pass."

I shook my head, reaching up to push a piece of hair away from his eyes. Perfect, kelly green eyes. "No."

Edward laughed again, marking his own page in his book, and moved to his side. He looked at me curiously, propping his head in his hand. "So, what's on your mind, Bella?"

I shrugged, folding my hands over my stomach as I looked up at him. "Nothing, I'm just...watching you."

"That's a little creepy, you know," He replied seriously, but his eyes were twinkling with mischief. "I mean, next thing you know, you'll be watching me sleep."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Yeah, okay. Because that would be healthy."

"You never know; you could be one of those crazy, psycho girls," he reprimanded, shaking his head at me. "it's only been a couple of months."

"I know," I sighed, thinking about how in a few days, it'd be Thanksgiving, and I'd have no choice but to get on a plane to Washington, then in a car with my dad for the drive to Forks. Meanwhile, Edward would fly to Chicago and be with his parents. I'm not sure if it's because we were only teenagers, or if it was because this was my first real, honest to goodness relationship but the thought of not being able to spend the week with him was gut wrenching.

As in, I really really didn't want it to happen.

Which was ridiculous because I should have known better. In fact, I did know better. It was perfectly reasonable for someone (especially me) to be without someone's significant other for a week. In fact, many people did it all the time.

But many people weren't dating Edward Cullen.

"Bella?" Edward's voice cut through my thoughts and I blinked back to reality and the fact that I'd been staring into space for the last few minutes. "You okay, love?"

I sighed, nodding a little and looking away from him. "It's just going to be weird; you being in Chicago instead of down the street."

Minor correction to that; Edward and I hadn't actually spent a night apart since we started dating. Something he said about 'protecting me' and something I might have muttered about not having a body pillow. Either way, we both had lame, awful excuses to not be apart. Honestly, I wondered how actual couples dealt with it.

"Weird, but not permanent," he reassured me, reaching forward to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. "And we aren't really going to be apart until the very last second, remember?"

This was true. We'd picked our flights home so that we could at least sit together in the airport. And prolong the agony. Part of me had wanted to just say good bye to him on friday night, and then leave saturday morning. I'd have more time to get away from this new...college Bella.

I was worried about what Charlie would think of me. He'd worked so hard for me to go to college, and to have enough money to not worry about tuition being a burden, and yet...I was going to come home and say I found a boyfriend and I really liked him? I wasn't sure my father would react well to that, because boys and dating (like I said) were never my priorities.

Edward made it one.

Edward made me want to have that cliched Saturday good bye where one of us (okay, probably me) would cry and say I'll see you soon. I wanted to soak up every last minute I could, and something inside told me that I wouldn't be this way for just anyone. Just for Edward.

"I know," I replied, once I remembered how to speak. I found that that was one thing Edward didn't change in me. I was still...lost in my own head most days. Even though he did his best to draw me out and to make me share with him (I guess) I had a hard time doing it. I wished he really could read my mind most days.

"Then..." he prodded, leaning forward to kiss me. "What's the problem?"

I huffed as I pulled back and sat up. "I dunno, I'm just...melancholy."

He sighed, shaking his head and turned back to his book. Nothing after that, not even a why. I suppose I couldn't have expected him to keep prodding, but I also didn't think he'd just..give up.

That was definitely where we differed.

I shook my head and stood up, packing up my things. "I'm just gonna go."

"Why?" He asked, as though suddenly aware of the tension rolling off the two of us in waves.

"Because we aren't getting along right now, and I don't really want to be around you."

Half truth. I didn't really know at that instance what I wanted from him, whether I wanted him to keep prodding at me, or to just...move on, but I did know that I didn't want to be in his room anymore. If I was going to have to be the old Bella for a week, then I might as well start now.

"Bella, stop being ridiculous," Edward chided as I packed up the rest of my books. "This is insane, if you're upset about something, tell me what it is."

"Oh, so now I'm ridiculous and insane," I repeated, looking up at him as i shoved my books into my bag. "Wonderful. Thanks, Edward, keep spewing the compliments."

I knew I was being unfair in retrospect, but for some reason, when I got into that kind of a mood with him, I couldn't let up. I had to keep egging it on because I didn't want to be wrong. I didn't want to be the one left behind and hurt.

"You are being insane and ridiculous!" he shouted, standing up to face me. "And not like my Bella at all! If this is how you're gonna be, you should go. Call me when you get a grip."

My mouth hung open and agape before I realized I must have looked like a fish and I snapped it shut. "You're such an asshole. And I was so stupid for thinking you...you were something else."

I slammed the door behind me, feeling my heart pound in my chest. I had all of this...anger inside of me, literally pulsing through my veins and willing me not to break down, crying and running back to Edward. In the moments like that, I saw someone petty and callous. Not the boy who held me when I was scared, saved me from creeps outside of bars, and told me I was worth it. Because I think deep down, I knew I wasn't. I wasn't worth having Edward Cullen, and I wasn't worth being cared for in that way. The more he realized it, the better it would be.

I threw my stuff down once I got to my room, thankful that Alice wasn't there so I didn't have to hear a lecture on how sweet I was and how I really deserved better. I didn't deserve better because there _wasn't_ better. I knew that now, just as I would know it in a hundred years.

It was only about an hour before there was a quiet knock at my door, and I hopped off of my bed, only to see Edward, leaning against my door frame and watching me warily.

"This asshole wants to know why you're upset," he said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I'm sorry I called you that, I don't feel that way about you," I told him, my eyes drifting to the ground.

Edward's fingers brushed my stomach and he pushed me back into my room, the door shutting behind him. "So? What's going on?"

I shook my head, wrapping my arms around my middle and keeping my eyes focused on the ground. "Nothing, it's stupid."

"How can nothing be stupid, love," he whispered, ducking down to catch my eyes.

I sighed, finally letting his eyes catch mine, and knowing there was nothing I could do to push him away. As quickly as he'd have me on the defense, he'd torn them down and made me putty in his hands again. "I'm afraid of leaving; that once we aren't...in our bubble together," I started, shaking my head. "None of what happened will matter."

Edward sighed, leaning his forehead to mine, his warm breath fanning over my face. "That...will never be true."

"How do you know," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. "You'll be home and-"

"Missing you. That's it. I'm just going to be missing you," he interrupted. "Bella, how do you not see that you're the most important thing in my world?"

I bit my lip and pulled back, shaking my head. "Because I'm not...I don't..." Deserve it.

somehow though, Edward decided that this would be a good moment to know exactly what I couldn't say because he shook his head. "Yes, you do. I... I don't know how to make you see, but it's true. We're good together, so just...let us be good?"

Let us be good.

But...I mean, what did that even mean? Were we good?

I let out a heavy sigh and reached out to touch him. If it wasn't right, then I wasn't sure that anything else possibly could be. Ever. "I want to be good for you." I mumbled, watching my fingers curl around his arm.

"You are," Edward replied, leaning forward and I felt his lips on my cheek. "You're perfect Bella, I don't know why you don't see it like everyone else does."

I shook my head, pulling back my hand and wrapping my arms around him. "I'm just...not. I don't know. I feel awkward all of the time."

"You aren't, I swear," he whispered, his forehead resting against my temple. "But I'm awkward too. It's not like I'm perfect or whatever."

I wanted to tell him he was; despite his almost anal retentive way of taking notes, and that only he was ever allowed to drive, and the way he had to always sleep on the left side of the bed, he was completely and utterly perfect. But instead I settled for just being with him, and wrapped up in this; however long we'd have it.

The fighting, and the weird petty-ness that we had every once in a while wouldn't be a big deal because we could get through it; we'd essentially just decided as much.

And that, to me, was more important than anything else could be.

Somehow, somehow Edward managed to get me to stop stressing out about leaving for Thanksgiving, and I didn't even cry when I got on the plane to Seattle. I just sat in seat 20A, listening to the music he told me I couldn't possibly live without (even though I had been to that point) and wondered what 'going home' would be like.

Forks was, by basic definition my home. It was where I grew up, where my family lived...where most of my friends were and yet, I couldn't help but feel as my dad drove me through the familiar streets in the late afternoon that this place was foreign to me.

"Mrs. Pride got a new awning for the flower shop," Charlie commented, turning around the corner of Main Street so I could see the awning in question. I just nodded.

"We should go to the diner; get some dinner," Charlie replied, noticing my silence.

"It's okay, Dad, I don't mind cooking," I assured him, not taking my eyes off the scenery.

"Well, I don't want you to over exert yourself," He said, sounding less sure by the second. I loved my father dearly, but it came to a point where I just knew he didn't know what he was doing or what the right thing to say was. It was one of the moments where I had to be the parent and take over.

I turned toward him, shaking my head and mustering the best smile I could. "It's okay, really. I'd rather just have a home cooked meal tonight."

The relief that seemed to wash over him was instant and he nodded. "Whatever suits you best, Bels."

Routine.

Without Edward and his calming guidance, routine was what suited me best. It made me forget that part of me was missing; that despite everything that I knew to be true, deep down and inherently, I wasn't the same person I was when I left Forks.

Now, coming back here it was obvious that I was irrevocably and hopelessly in love with Edward Cullen.


End file.
